It just helps to talk

Tonight I had a nice, long talk with a very close friend. It was nice to talk to another woman in a way that only two women can, even if said friend doesn't know that I identify as a female. She and I have just always had that kind of rapport. She's always been very much like a sister too me and very open with me and aside from struggle with my gender identity I've been very open with her.
Sadly though, due to schedule conflicts and life and general we haven't had a chance to really sit and talk to one another in that way and we got a chance to do so this evening. It was very nice and made me realize how much I missed having people around me to open up to. How much I need that and of course how much I utterly lack it most of the time.
Because of some very bad experiences in the past, I've become a very guarded person. Despite longing to have people close to me to talk to and be honest with I am very wary of doing so. Being hurt one too many times for wearing my heart on my sleeve I started being secretive and closed off from all but a rare few I trust with my life and my secrets.
Opening up a bit tonight made me realize how I'm finally starting recover from some very old, very deep wounds and wish I had more friends to trust in. Maybe if I did I'd finally come completely out about my gender identity and take risks such as dressing more femininely, being 100% myself and what not. While I endeavor to find that in my life, it is still nice to know that just talking helps so much.
So in the spirit of that I'll try to do so here more often because while it isn't as nice as having a face-to-face dialog, being able to open up here and be honest and be me without fear, guilt, etc., is something I really should do more often. Catharsis is nice. I need to experience it more often and in more varied forms.

No more being silent because it seems safe. Silence is a little death that should be avoided.

From Minnie to Mickey (and all they did was turn off a gene)

"The battle of the sexes is a never-ending war waged within ourselves as male and female elements of our own bodies continually fight each other for supremacy. This is the astonishing implication of a pioneering study showing that it is possible to flick a genetic switch that turns female ovary cells into male testicular tissue."

Read the whole article.

I'm very hopefully about what kind of breakthroughs this might lead to one day. While I want to remain realistic, the optimistic dreamer in me sees and article like this and starts picturing something like the drug Reboot from the Neil Gaiman short story Changes.