Adjusting

Just letting everyone who might be curious know that I got moved in successfully about a week ago and that I've been taking this week to sort out some work matters, unpack my things, and generally get settled in to my new place.

It is an odd adjustment living in a big city after spending my whole life living in a very small town where everyone knows one another. Here I feel more anonymous and not as self-conscious which is nice but kind of weird getting use to.

Hopefully that will make it easier for me to be open about who I am and not have to worry as much about the reactions I'll get and all that nonsense. I know that shouldn't bother me but it always has on some level. At least here I don't have to worry about the being out en femme and running into someone I know from childhood, high school, or worse of all a family member. Here no one really knows me and thus wouldn't care.

Now I guess it is all a matter of making myself comfortable with me and being me. That bit is tougher, but I'm working on it.

Enough about me. I go on about myself and my issues too much, or so I worry. I'll hopefully be back in the swing of thing by the end of this week which means new captions and less of my emo-ramblings.

Boxes boxes everywhere...

...and not a one of them full of spare time, sadly.

As some of you may recall I'm moving to Atlanta at the end of the month and between work and preparing to move my free time has all but vanished. That's why I haven't done much captioning of late Hopefully once I get moved and settled in at my new place I'll be able to get things back to normal around here.

While I'm very excited about the move it also has me pretty nervous.

Reasons to be excited: living somewhere new, living just a few miles from my girlfriend, getting away from the baggage I have of still living in the town I was born in, making new friends, being able to live more openly as a transsexual.

Reasons to be nervous: money still being tight, living in a big city when I've lived in a very small town my whole life, opening up to new people about my gender-identity issues.

Part of me really wants to make this a chance for  fresh start in my real life. A chance to come out about who and what I am and be able to dress as the woman I am if I want. Where I currently live, a small super-religious town in the South, doing so is far more difficult. I've had to be very careful about going out en femme because it is one of those towns where everyone knows everyone else and given that my very close-minded family lives here I didn't want it getting back to them and making my life more difficult.

Being in much larger city where I can put many of those concerns behind me is very liberating but intimidating as well. Given the choice to dress and act the way I want, will I do so or will I continue to hide? It makes me wonder why I've not pushed myself to move sooner, why I let myself hide rather than just being me and saying to hell with anyone who can't accept that, etc.

Not really what I want on my mind while a thousand other things are racing through there in a desperate attempt to get everything in order to be moved in just over a week. I'm sure I'll sort through it all and I think, given the positive encouragement I get here (thankyousomuch!) and from those closest to me in real life I'm sure I'll come out of the shell I'm still half curled up inside and my life will be all the better for it.

For now though back to frantic packing and making it through the next few days.

I didn't vanish forever! Honest!

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't posted anything new in a few weeks but it has been a crazy month or so. Work was getting scarcer, money was getting tight, I went through a bad Valentines, a really bad twenty-*coughcough*-th birthday, started getting really depressed, and then found out I may be forced to move soon. Just seemed like it was one thing after another. Meh!

Things are finally getting semi-stable again (for the most part) and I feel a bit better lately than I have. No worries I'll get it all sorted out. My life tends to be a complete whirlwind lately and I'm getting use to riding it out.

I feel so bad that I got this far behind but I promise I'll try to start making it up this week as I should have a bit of free time to work on some new captions.  I also just want to post here more regularly in general to vent a lot of things that go through my mind. Such as seriously considering HRT and living more openly as the woman I am inside.

Anyway, my apologizes to any fans of my work. I promise I won't up and vanish again seemingly forever (I totally swear!). I know it seems silly but I worry people write me off because of it, not that I think most people even remember that I did it in the first place. Bad impressions are so annoying. Meh x2!

Ok enough rambling. I know I'm bad about it. Just wanted to let everyone know what was up!

It has been a rough couple of weeks

Sorry for the long delay in any new captions. Unfortunately this time of year always manages to put me in a pretty bad state of depression. Which has only been made worse by the fact that I'm unemployed currently and unsure how long it'll take me to find another job.
Don't worry though, I'm lucky enough to have people close to me who are helping me work through it. I recently came out to one of them about begin transgendered he has been incredibly supportive and comforting given that he went through the same when he realized he was gay a few years back.
Having someone else I can open up to has helped a lot. Anyway I hope you all like the new captions. I should have some more done by the end of the week.

From Minnie to Mickey (and all they did was turn off a gene)

"The battle of the sexes is a never-ending war waged within ourselves as male and female elements of our own bodies continually fight each other for supremacy. This is the astonishing implication of a pioneering study showing that it is possible to flick a genetic switch that turns female ovary cells into male testicular tissue."

Read the whole article.

I'm very hopefully about what kind of breakthroughs this might lead to one day. While I want to remain realistic, the optimistic dreamer in me sees and article like this and starts picturing something like the drug Reboot from the Neil Gaiman short story Changes.